Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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