Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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