hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
