The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
