I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
