stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
