So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
