Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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