sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize