That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
