No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
