this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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