You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize