4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize