It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
