Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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