how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
