The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
