dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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