I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
