on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
