that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
His nipple licking is glorious
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