Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
