question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
