where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
