is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
