Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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