I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
