so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
