White coat. Heels.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
