were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i dont even know how to be here
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
