i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
