I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
