Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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