I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
