I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I could make wine with my vomit
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
