White coat. Heels.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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