I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
