We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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