i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize