And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
