once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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