Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
