sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
