Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
