I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
