its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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