belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
