Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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