Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
