either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
