My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
