I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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