It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
bring money and cleavage
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
