i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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