Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
