Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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