You're so nebulous sometimes
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
