Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
