Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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