You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
