somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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