wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize