hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize