she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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