even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
ok first of all what the fuck
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
