Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
