Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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