me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
