I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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